POOP!

Man, my brother and I poop A LOT! We're totally full of crap. Seriously, the backyard is starting to look like a mine field! Poop is weird too. Sometimes it's hard, but sometimes it's really runny and has no shape. It's always brown, no matter what you eat. But sometimes it will have little pieces from my toys that I accidentally swallow. I'll just be chewing on my rope toy, and before I know it half of the rope is gone. I get a little worried, like,"WHY'S THE ROPE GONE?!?" Then I just wait a few hours and PLOP, right there, in the doody, the pieces of rope that were missing. But don't worry, I never reuse the rope, that would be disgusting. What's also weird? Humans don't poop where dogs poop. There are these huge water bowls upstairs that have these lids. Humans sit on them and go poop...so strange!!! They have this white paper stuff next to the toilet, not really sure what that's for, but then there's this little handle that they pull, it makes a loud, scary sound, and the poop disappears!!!! I wonder if they make water bowls like that for dogs. It's a really smart idea because it'd have a dual purpose, you could drink out of it and poop in it! Couldn't do that right now, my water bowl doesn't have a handle to make the poop disappear. My mom would probably love it if I had a water bowl to poop in. That's probably what she's thinking about as she picks up all the poop in the backyard this morning. Trust me, there was a lot of it. There were like three shopping bags full of poop. I really hope Mom doesn't recycle those bags because that would be a little gross. Humans are so great...our mom is probably one of the best humans there is. I wish I could tell her that, because she really looks unhappy when she's picking up the poop. Maybe I could teach myself to use the water bowls upstairs!!! I can't be that hard. I learned how to balance a treat on my nose in like a couple of days, and this is basically the same thing! Hmmm, but how would I get on the water bowl, it's not very big, and I usually require a lot of room to complete my business...I'm a walking pooper. Well, guess I better get cracking on my new invention, the walking-poop-water-bowl! That can wait until I get done running around and playing with Sippi, though. Then I'll need to take a good nap. Then I'll chew on my toys for a spell. Then it'll be time for a snack. Then another nap...it's good for my digestion. Then I'll probably have to go potty, and there's lots of barking to do at the strange humans that are building some kind of human thing next door. Whew! Lots to do today!
Woof woof and cheers!
Baerli

Day 12 of the Intrusion

Sorry for the decline in posts recently. I have been doing my research on our "friends" the Camels (I looked up the correct spelling, it's C-A-M-E-L not K-A-M-E-L-L).

It appears these guys hail from the Middle East and parts of Central Asia, which explains why they would be in our Christmas package. I'm convinced with each day that passes that they are in fact terrorists or at least not very good guys! In my research I came across some photos. This is what a full-grown camel looks like...

WEIRDEST FREAKING THING!!!

This one looks really big, so our intruders must be runts of the litter or something. And if you're wondering what that monstrous growth is on it's back, it's a hump made of fat!!! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! I get in trouble for humping, yet this guy has one growing out of his back!!! What the hell? What do you even do with it?! And those necks!!! What is up with that? They're all long and crap! I'M SO CONFUSED AND TERRIFIED!!!

Apparently camels can withstand extreme changes in body temperature and consumption of water that would be lethal to many other animals...so basically they are indestructible! I have no idea what we're gonna do. This little guy just sits in small spaces and looks conspicuous...he's probably studying our daily behavior in order to properly attack us.

Look at that smug jerk just sitting next to Mom's guitar! He can't even play!!!

He and his friend are probably just waiting for the perfect opportunity to steal our tasty rawhides, take our delicious antlers, and snatch the guitar! Oh no, I've just had an epiphany...a terrible realization!!! What if these camels are capable of kidnapping?!? Are we certain that Dad is in fact away for work?!? WHAT IF THESE CAMELS HAVE TAKEN OUR FATHER?!? Mom seems to think we have nothing to worry about, but I really think she's just clueless sometimes. I think I should try to contact Dad on my own. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep or nap...ok, I probably will sleep and nap, but I'll be very concerned whenever I'm awake and alert unless I can ensure Dad's safety.

I'll keep you all updated on my progress!
Woof woof and cheers!
Sippi

Intruders among us!

Merry Christmas!!! Or is it?!?

Well, Baerli and I thought that Christmas was over. We went through our gifts from Santa already. He gave us really nice Santa and reindeer toys, and we quickly tore them to shreds. BUT DON'T WORRY! They are not the real Santa and Rudolph, just toys! Baerli almost had a meltdown before I explained that to her.

Mission accomplished

Anyway, we didn't think we had any more gifts until we received a parcel from Dad this week. Mom said, "Yay, now you can open up the rest of your gifts!" She pulled down our stockings from the wall, and they were filled with goodies! Looks like she kept a few gifts hidden away from us, she's so sneaky!

Our loaded stockings!!!

We were so excited to see what we got from Dad, then it happened...THEY happened. Mom pulled out these two things, she called them "KAMELLS". I don't know who they are or where they came from. They must have snuck into the box and stole our presents from Dad, though! Not cool, man. NOT COOL! Maybe they are terrorists!!! Mom seems to think that they are the "presents", but she's clearly being deceived by these dastardly beings.

Look at them with their smug looks...trying to steal more gifts!!!

 Baerli and I promptly finished the delicious cookies so the Kamells couldn't get them, and Mom put the bones in a safe place. I'm not letting these two out of my sight, though. That big one is pretty stupid looking, but it's the little one you have to keep an eye on, something about him just doesn't feel right. They're always just sitting around, and whenever you turn a corner, they're there! I don't know how long they plan to be here, but they are not welcome! I keep trying to send my mom encoded messages, but I think these guys are intercepting them.

Look at this jerk trying to steal my camera time?!?

I promptly slapped the big one right in the face and stole his hat. Maybe that'll teach the little one who's boss. I'M THE BOSS! THIS IS MY HOUSE, BUDDY! I'll be damned if I let someone like you try to take the place of me or my sister! The game is afoot, the war has begun, and you are my target Kamells. Be afraid, be very afraid!!!

Day 4 of the Kamell Intruders.

The Royal Dream!!!

Just watching a little Princess Diaries this afternoon. I like to think that I've got a little royalty somewhere in my ancestry. I am a Welsh Corgi, after all, and Her Majesty the Queen is human to several Welsh Corgis.
Sometimes I daydream about how my Royal family will find me. I'll be sleeping one afternoon, the door bell will ring, and a human dressed all in black and wearing dark glasses (still don't understand the point of those things) will be at the door. The human will say he is on an important mission from the Queen, and Her Majesty requests my presence immediately! Of course, I will be completely unprepared, but let's face it, I always look spiffy. So, we leave immediately for our important meeting. Upon our arrival to the palace my mom is led to the tea room with some other humans, I am greeted by the doggy butler (a cat named Freddy).

Freddy takes me to the Royal doggy chambers, where I'm greeted by Doggy Princesses Willow and Holly. We talk over bowls of water and biscuits; I'm initially so star-struck that I don't know what to say. After a couple of biscuits we begin to break the ice, talking about the weather, our favourite (see what I did there!) kinds of fetch balls, the latest frisbee technology, what improvements could be made to rope toys, local walking trails, etc. Then we begin to discuss business. Willow and Holly explain to me how the late doggy Prince Monty is my uncle! His brother (my father) was adopted and taken back to America when they were just young pups. My father met my mother, an American, and she swept him off his paws. As Monty got older he kept trying to locate his brother, because that was the only family he had left. That's when he was able to locate me. Willow tells me that it was always Monty's wish that his next-of-kin take his place as part of the Queen's Royal doggies.

Of course, I am honored to accept. Willow and Holly further explain that this doesn't just mean eating delicious treats made for a king or laying around on the finest dog pillows all day. Sometimes the Royal doggies are called on important missions, like escorting the Queen to the Olympics with James Bond! I understand the importance of such a role. I explain how I continuously escort my mom everywhere, and I'm always vigilant of her safety; so, I'm rather confident in my abilities. Willow tells me that that comes as no surprise, since protecting humans is in my blood. I tell them I am quite eager to accept the position, but I have some conditions that must be met. First, I can't be apart of the Royal doggies unless my sister is to join me. Holly says they aren't fond of large dogs, but if I trust Bärli's expertise then they can accept this condition. Second, my mom and dad have to be able to come with me. Willow says that this will be much more difficult to coordinate. I tell them that these are my conditions, and I can't accept the post without these conditions being met. They say they might be able to get my parents into working on the Royal staff, and I think this is agreeable. My parents will be happy as long as they're with me. We're just finishing up the details of our contract, I'm getting ready to paw my signature...then...I wake up!!!

Well, maybe I'm royalty, or maybe I'm not. But I can always dream! Prince Sippi Konrath, 008!!!

Until that day comes, if it comes, I will be happy to just relax on my fluffy pillow bed, play tug-of-war with my sister, cuddle with my mom and dad, and enjoy my life:-)

Woof woof and cheers!
Sippi

Mission Log Update: Operation RDST Rodent

The Rodent has been captured and executed! Target has been acquired, and the mission was a success!!! All the thanks goes to our brave Mom! We should give her a treat!
Woof woof and cheers!
Sippi

Little Humans and Cheez-Its

This morning a little human came to our house for a visit. Our mom and the other human were calling him Paul. I think Paul's human is friends with our mom because they were talking for a long time. I'm not really sure what they were talking about because I was getting a little bored, plus there were all these new toys that needed to be inspected, and there was this high pitched noise coming from this wooden tube that Paul had...he called it a "TRANE WISSLE"?
I had a lot of fun with Paul! Paul was great! His face is right at the perfect kissing height. He likes to run around, which is a lot of fun. Also, he brings snacks!!! Seriously, the bag that his human brought with him had cheez-its and peanuts and this little Santa toy that spit out candy....I wish I had a Santa toy that spit out treats...
Anyway, he also had some toys, which he left here. Not really sure what that means because Mom said they are not for us and we are not allowed to play with them. Maybe Paul will come back?!? MAYBE HE'LL BRING A SANTA THAT SPITS OUT CHEEZ-ITS!?!?!?!
THIS COULD BE SO GREAT!!!!!
Woof woof cheers!








Bärli

I Believe I Can Fly

I used to think that I could not go on
Then my life was wakened by a bird's song
It sounded something like an ugly dove
I really wish to do it some great harm

If I could see it, then I could catch it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I'd fly up high to chase those birds away
Especially pigeons, they're the worst I'd say

I believe I can soar
They'll see me running through that open dooooooor
They will fly for their lives
Because I believe I can fly
I believe I can flyyyy
I believe I can FLLLLYYYYY!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!

You guys, Sippi here. Well, it's happened...there is a rodent in the house!!!! THERE'S A MOUSE IN OUR HOUSE!!!! Mom seems to think that it's our job to get rid of this dastardly creature, but we've done our research. Mice are disgusting creatures!!! This thing isn't even house trained?!? Little mice turds EVERYWHERE!!! EWWW!!! 

Here's how it went down. Mom let Bärli out to use the restroom last night. I heard a scream, and then they both ran back into the house. Mom was saying stuff like, "Really, now, a mouse", and she was looking at Bärli and me like, "Well, aren't you gonna do something?!" Look here, Mom, we love you, and we'll be here for support, but we are not going to kill that thing. First of all, we don't have hands or opposable fingers, meaning we'd have to use our MOUTHS! BLECH! I'd rather like my butt...ok, not a good analogy...I'd rather eat chocolate than have that thing touch my mouth. Second, what if it crawls on us?! WHAT IF WE GET BIT?!?! I know you said that we are protected from rabies because of those shots, but how can you ever be sure? I'm still convinced that that vet was trying to fulfill some evil torturous fantasy. Regardless, you can never be too careful when it comes to THE rabies. Let's not relive Old Yeller. Third, they have special traps that you can use to catch mice! Believe me, I researched. And they aren't very expensive. I would set them myself, but then we're back to our opposable thumbs issue.

Mom, we love you. When it comes to mice and similar rodents we are cowards, and for that we are sorry. We wish you the best of luck in your mouse hunting venture. 

Operation RDST (Rabid, Disgusting, Small Turding) Rodent has commenced....

OUR MOMMY LOVES KISSES!!! That is all.

2014, here we come!

Well, folks, we decided that 2013 had so much excitement to offer, that we really needed to start keeping a record. Our mom thinks that we are just hilarious, clearly not something we should keep to ourselves. We have a lot on our minds, as many dogs do, and we think it's time to share our thoughts with dogs and humans alike. Be careful of the felines you share this information with, as it's difficult to tell if they are friend or foe. 

We should probably start with some introductions.

I'm Bärli, and I'm probably the coolest dog you'll ever meet...well, besides my little-big brother, Sippi (hehe, I added that little part--Sippi). Anyway, Bärli here, I'm a German Shepherd, I'm 2 1/2 years old, and I love being crazy! Here's a pic of me...I was trying to strike a pose, but Sippi was having camera troubles.

C'mon...that's way too close...back up!

It cannot be that difficult.

Nailed it!

Now it's my turn. My name is Sippi, and despite what my sister thinks, I'm a good photographer. She tries to be all abstract, and I'm little, so sometimes I just need her to calm down and be still! I'm a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, I'm tri-color which is unique (more like weird--Bärli), I'm 4 1/2 years old, and I'm incorrigible! Actually, I really think I'm just a little dog with some attitude, which my mother finds adorable. Here is a picture that my sister took.

What did I tell you? I'm a handsome fella!

Well, we wish everyone the best in 2014! We look forward to sharing all our new adventures with you!!

Woof woof and CHEERS!

Sippi and Bärli